Using Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Peak

Using Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Peak Performance [email protected]

Be Prepared Please check your pockets, purse, briefcase, cell phone, wallet for an item that “speaks” about who you are. It could be a photo, jewelry, membership card, screen photo, memento, stub, souvenir, etc.

Emotional Intelligence History

EQ Definitions Formal Definition: the ability to use your emotions to form an optimal relationship with yourself and others. Daniel Goleman Definition: the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions well in ourselves and others.

EQ Emotional Intelligence

Goleman’s EQ Model

EQ Findings High EQ people are happier, healthier and more successful in relationships. High EQ people exhibit: – – – – Balance between emotion and reason Awareness of their own feelings Empathy and compassion for others Signs of high self-esteem We aren’t all created emotionally equal - we have different emotional temperaments. The way we act out, express ourselves, and use our emotions can be changed!

EQ at Work 70% of the reasons for losing a customer are EQ related. 59% of workers report they do not receive recognition for a job well done. 75% of workers say they do not find management’s leadership inspiring. 50% of time wasted in the workplace is due to the lack of trust. Everyday 50,000 people quit their jobs. 85% of workers report they could work more effectively. 80% of Americans do not look forward to going to work.

EQ at Work (cont) EQ is greater than 85% of what enables “star performers” to develop into great leaders. EQ allows people to think more clearly under pressure, eliminating time wasted by anger, anxiety and fear. As a determinant of high performance, EQ is twice as important as technical and cognitive skills combined. Workers with high EQ get along better and solve problems more efficiently. Workers with high EQ positively impact people they interact with – they are good role models of excellent performance.

Goleman’s EQ Model

Self-Awareness Self-awareness means having a deep understanding of one’s emotions how their feelings affect them, other people and their job performance Daniel Goleman

Self-Awareness People with high skill levels of self-awareness: Interact easily with team members and clients who are demanding. Make decisions in a calm state of mind. Accurately assess themselves and exhibit openness. Are quietly self-confident. Accurately assess people and situations.

Components of Self-Awareness Emotional Awareness - recognizes one’s emotions and their effects. Accurate Self-Assessment - knowing one’s strengths and limits. Self-Confidence - a strong sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities.

Components of Self-Awareness Accurate Self-Assessment

Components of Self-Awareness Self-Confidence – Understand your talent – Suspend self-doubt and push through feelings of self-doubt to boost confidence

Self-Awareness Activity Name That Emotion

Actions to Build Self-Awareness Develop habit of self-observation Spend time daily on self-reflection Keep a journal Ask for feedback

Goleman’s EQ Model

Self-Management Self-management, which is like an on-going inner conversation, is the component of EQ that frees us from being prisoners of our feelings. People engaged in such a conversation find ways to control (emotional impulses) and even to channel (emotions ) in useful ways Daniel Goleman

Components of Self-Management Self-Control Trustworthiness Conscientiousness Adaptability Innovation

Self-Management The ultimate act of personal responsibility at work may be taking control of our own state of mind. Daniel Goleman

Self-Management Activity Self-talk What Are You Telling Yourself Lately Activity? Constructive Inner Dialog Activity OR

Actions to Build SelfManagement Develop constructive inner dialogs Avoid distorted thinking – Overgeneralizations – Destructive labeling Derail counterproductive behavior – Sarcasm – Avoidance – Boastfulness Use humor Redirect your emotional energy Take time out to relax Behavior rehearsal

Goleman’s EQ Model

Self-Motivation (People who possess self-motivation skills) are driven to achieve beyond expectations The key word here is achieve They are motivated by a deeply embedded desire to achieve for the sake of achievement (alone) Daniel Goleman

Self-Motivation People with high skill levels of self-motivation: Initiate improvements in their jobs, departments and division Succeed at difficult assignments more often than those with low self-motivation Are less likely to quit their job or leave the organization Motivate their staff and others they interact with Magnetize a cadre of people around them with the same traits

Components of Self-Motivation Achievement drive Commitment Initiative Optimism

Self-Motivation Activity Eye On the Goal

Actions to Build Self-Motivation Use motivational self-statements (affirmations) Use positive mental imagery Find an emotional mentor Create a healthy work environment

Goleman’s EQ Model Empathy

Empathy empathy means thoughtfully considering employee’s (other’s) feelings - along with other factors - in the process of making intelligent decisions Daniel Goleman

Empathy People with high skill levels of empathy: Frequently inform people during times of change and uncertainty Promote collaboration Develop all staff to their potential Develop and retain the intellectual capital of the organization Achieve consistently high performance of direct reports Enjoy increased job motivation and satisfaction of staff

Components of Empathy Understanding others Developing others Serving others Leveraging diversity Political awareness

Empathy Notes Understanding is not the same as agreement Research suggests a negative correlation between being in positions of power and empathetic abilities In a team oriented, customer focused organization, empathy is critical

Empathy Quiz – Thank you

Actions to Build Empathy Look for the good and similar Assume people have the best of intentions Practice a “walk in their shoes” Listen better Try to identify with what the other person is saying and feeling (perhaps by reflecting on an experience you’ve had that produced a similar emotion in you)

Goleman’s EQ Model Empathy

Managing Relationships Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others. Daniel Goleman

Managing Relationships People with high skill levels of managing relationships: Can count on a wide circle of colleagues during difficult times Find the “common ground” among differing views Effectively leads teams Achieve change initiative objectives

Components of Managing Relationships Influence Communication Conflict management Leadership Change catalyst Building bonds Collaboration and cooperation

Actions to Build Managing Relationships Know the relationship boundaries and expectations Use appropriate self-disclosure Keep confidences Be enthusiastic Listen more and talk less

Personal EI Development Plan

Survivor

Handle Conflict Key Strategy Don’t offend Don’t be offended.

Handle Conflict Key Strategy There are some things, I just don’t have to have an opinion on!

Handle Conflict Key Strategy Don’t assume motive.

Handle Conflict Key Strategy Let’s agree to disagree, agreeably.

Proactive Approaches P P A A C C

Take the L isten E mpathize A pologize D o something or Direct to someone who can

Saying “No” Nicely N eutralize through a positive I mmediately empathize C ourteously explain E mphasize your desire to help beginning

Thank you My name is David Alba – [email protected] If any of my stories aren’t true - they should’ve been. Three books that I recommend: